Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Week of 1/10 Mentoring Entry
I've been thinking more and more about mentoring. I'm realizing there are many types of mentors in a person's life. It also makes me think of role models, which I think is different. In my mind a role model doesn't necessarily know they are your role model. I think a mentoring relationship is a fluid relationship where both people partake actively, a role model isn't necessarily someone you even know.
My most direct experience at being a mentor is for my children. While I've been reading "The Big Picture" the term advisor/advisee is one that seems to have more of a mentor tone than teacer which seems more one way and more dictator like.
In the limited experience I have had parenting (since my oldest child is only 3) i have found that any time you "make" a child (or anyone for that matter) do something it is received in a very different way than if you encourage them to. For a specific example, telling my son "Go pick up your toys" doesn't usually work. However, if I tell him lets go get your backhoe and see if it can pick up all your toys, it is a completely different reaction with the same result, not to mention more fun. Forcing people to do things, not only isn't as effective, it isn't as fun and it makes the person receiving the order feel unimportant and disrespected.
I think most of us have been on the side where we are told to do something and even though we may have been conditioned to accept this, it isn't anything like being encouraged or asked to do something with another person. I think when we are told to do something, we do only what is "required" where as if we either decide ourself to do something, or we do something with someone else, we tend to go beyond the "requirement".
So if we all know this, why don't we approach teaching, professional development, training, management and everything else this way no matter what?
My most direct experience at being a mentor is for my children. While I've been reading "The Big Picture" the term advisor/advisee is one that seems to have more of a mentor tone than teacer which seems more one way and more dictator like.
In the limited experience I have had parenting (since my oldest child is only 3) i have found that any time you "make" a child (or anyone for that matter) do something it is received in a very different way than if you encourage them to. For a specific example, telling my son "Go pick up your toys" doesn't usually work. However, if I tell him lets go get your backhoe and see if it can pick up all your toys, it is a completely different reaction with the same result, not to mention more fun. Forcing people to do things, not only isn't as effective, it isn't as fun and it makes the person receiving the order feel unimportant and disrespected.
I think most of us have been on the side where we are told to do something and even though we may have been conditioned to accept this, it isn't anything like being encouraged or asked to do something with another person. I think when we are told to do something, we do only what is "required" where as if we either decide ourself to do something, or we do something with someone else, we tend to go beyond the "requirement".
So if we all know this, why don't we approach teaching, professional development, training, management and everything else this way no matter what?
# posted by Kari Hoien @ 11:45 AM 
